Ever since I have been out on my own after college, I have found myself facing a lot of interviews, specifically for a job and even otherwise. I have failed a few, made a mess of some, got through some, and have had so much fun in some because the interviewer just made it all look so casual or maybe he was just wasn't doing a good job! Anyways, just the thought of an interview puts me on an alert. There is something about interviews that gives me the goosebumps and it makes me realize that it's time for a reality check. It ain't as if I am short of confidence, short of experience or as if I hadn't been in a crunch situation before, but this one is always different. The interviewer fires a question and you have a reply, but will it satisfy the guy, is it what he is expecting to hear, or is it something he already knows and is just interested in hearing my point of view. What if my point of view doesn't coincide with his views? Will my answer be to the point or be vague and irrelevant.
I have taken interviews myself, hired and fired people, judged them professionally, but somehow being interviewed just gets to me. It starts right with the way I look. Did I have a good clean shave, do I need a haircut, what do I wear, will it be a dark shirt or a light colored one. Should the shoe be brown or black. How will I be judged? Will the interviewer be a style freak, hard taskmaster, or a dimwit, or maybe a total nerd who is gonna kill me with his technicalities.
There is another type of interview, not the job category, but the life changing category, equally unnerving by virtue of its contents and nature, and the demands it puts on your psyche....the matrimonial interview. This one is much more ruthless, though it’s very subtle. You can't smart talk your way through this one, cos if you lie or make a tall claim, it will come back to haunt you all your life. This one's in the take it or leave it segment or the ‘you will lose anyway’ mode.
Finally, as I get ready to face another interview, I know this will not be my last, not because I am confident of getting through them unscathed or will soon be looking for another one, but I believe one needs to encounter situations such as these where you are periodically checked whether you are an updated version, to check whether you still have it in you, see if you are market ready, see if you are abreast with what's happening in the world around you, and whether you need to upgrade your skills and get to the library again. It busts the notion, if there was any, that I am overconfident and that I can handle any interview or situation.
I also have a matrimonial interview coming up as well next month, which will include a distinguished panel of interviewers, who will all have a very personal motive behind the whole exercise. They will be intending to scrape through the pit of the Earth to unearth the answers they have been waiting to listen, ironically coating the whole exercise with lots of sugar and honey.
So here I am, waiting to be interviewed, waiting to present my point of view, and to those interviewers who decide not to take me onboard and assume my incompetence, I say at least give me a chance to prove my incompetence!
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Somethings..
There are some simple things in life that just put the zing back in you...like the first spells of rain after summer, talking to someone miles away from you and sharing a hearty laugh as if she is sitting right next you, giggling like a school girl, the cool summer evening breeze, and a terrific game of cricket. They have all happened to me the past few hours, making you think again, like just a few months ago, that there's something good always happening al'round you, something positive, you just have to look round and thank your stars, thank the Almighty.
I had been praying for the rains even before the summer started, summer is a shuddering thought for me, I just cant tolerate the heat, put me in a freezer and I'll gladly endure it, maybe it's an exaggeration, maybe too much of anything is always unbearable. So, I'll gladly welcome the rains!!
Talkin to mom is something that always peps me up, she is almost always so full of life, laughing, giggling, catching up on things far and near. She always makes everybody at home, or whatever is left of it, feel like old haggards at the death bed. So there we were chatting up bout whats happening in our lives, Insh'Allah, I'll get to see her soon.
Ahh...Gilly...what an adrenalin rush for us couch potatoes slouching with coke on our comfy sofas and watching one of the best knocks ever in a T20 game. Interestingly, as if on cue, as said by Paulo Coelho, all things trying to portray the same notion of happiness in all the simple things round you, value them, value life, value the loved ones in your life.!!!
I had been praying for the rains even before the summer started, summer is a shuddering thought for me, I just cant tolerate the heat, put me in a freezer and I'll gladly endure it, maybe it's an exaggeration, maybe too much of anything is always unbearable. So, I'll gladly welcome the rains!!
Talkin to mom is something that always peps me up, she is almost always so full of life, laughing, giggling, catching up on things far and near. She always makes everybody at home, or whatever is left of it, feel like old haggards at the death bed. So there we were chatting up bout whats happening in our lives, Insh'Allah, I'll get to see her soon.
Ahh...Gilly...what an adrenalin rush for us couch potatoes slouching with coke on our comfy sofas and watching one of the best knocks ever in a T20 game. Interestingly, as if on cue, as said by Paulo Coelho, all things trying to portray the same notion of happiness in all the simple things round you, value them, value life, value the loved ones in your life.!!!
Monday, January 5, 2009
Perpetually tested
Have you ever been perpetually tested, like always, never a moment of relaxation, never a time where you get up in the morning and think like well its really a new day, a new beginning. Like you have always been examined, someone testing your skill, well skill is a milder word here, maybe a test of character, for patience, for spirit, for attitude, being continuously thrown in situations where your reaction is monitored keenly and very closely!
You are always told to hang in there; life is always about this they say, about being tested, about facing good and bad situations with equal ease and élan. The last time I was hit, I thought okay now this ends this scrutiny and misery, but hey they say the test isn’t over yet, although the result is just round the corner, it ain’t over till you are dead meat. Also something very frightening, that the result isn’t all that important in this test here, what’s more important is how you keep your cool, how you face the continuous test of patience, how you come out of this heavenly mess created just to see how you fucking react when someone kicks you sometimes, and yeah have a smile all the while. Well getting kicked below the belt is not something I like. Even being kicked once isn’t okay, but I’ll manage, I’ll writhe in pain, roll around, and bear it with a loud and long moan, but what about getting kicked there every week, every few months! How do you handle that? Don’t you wanna just leave the fight; throw your hands up defeated, and give it all up.
Haha, you fucking moron, you can’t get out of this one just by writing this stupid blog. It only ends when you are completely scarred or only if you are dead. I mean I don’t have balls of steel; I ain’t Superman or Hulk, the more topical! I ain’t an angel mate; I cry, I laugh, and it gives me a lot of pain when someone hits me. I’m just a human being trying to manage the punches being thrown at me at a rapid pace and trying to be sane at the same time, with that stupid smile on my face always. Don’t I have anything else to do in life other than handle punches and kicks being thrown at me all the time, everyday, every morning and evening as well.
The most amazing part is I try and have so much fun while I am at this supposedly huge test that I have undertaken to get to the next stage in life. I have been doing what I always wanted to do in life, travel; you know traveling as if someone is paying me to do it, like it’s my job, sometimes at my own expense and sometimes being sponsored by friends and relatives.
Well, now it has been a pretty long examination. This test of life is horrible I tell you. I don’t want to fight anymore, its tiring. I am completely sapped of all the energy I have. I feel the only two things that will save me now are either a catastrophe or a miracle. Oh Lord, how I wish something of that sort strikes me soon, but hey not below the belt this time!
You are always told to hang in there; life is always about this they say, about being tested, about facing good and bad situations with equal ease and élan. The last time I was hit, I thought okay now this ends this scrutiny and misery, but hey they say the test isn’t over yet, although the result is just round the corner, it ain’t over till you are dead meat. Also something very frightening, that the result isn’t all that important in this test here, what’s more important is how you keep your cool, how you face the continuous test of patience, how you come out of this heavenly mess created just to see how you fucking react when someone kicks you sometimes, and yeah have a smile all the while. Well getting kicked below the belt is not something I like. Even being kicked once isn’t okay, but I’ll manage, I’ll writhe in pain, roll around, and bear it with a loud and long moan, but what about getting kicked there every week, every few months! How do you handle that? Don’t you wanna just leave the fight; throw your hands up defeated, and give it all up.
Haha, you fucking moron, you can’t get out of this one just by writing this stupid blog. It only ends when you are completely scarred or only if you are dead. I mean I don’t have balls of steel; I ain’t Superman or Hulk, the more topical! I ain’t an angel mate; I cry, I laugh, and it gives me a lot of pain when someone hits me. I’m just a human being trying to manage the punches being thrown at me at a rapid pace and trying to be sane at the same time, with that stupid smile on my face always. Don’t I have anything else to do in life other than handle punches and kicks being thrown at me all the time, everyday, every morning and evening as well.
The most amazing part is I try and have so much fun while I am at this supposedly huge test that I have undertaken to get to the next stage in life. I have been doing what I always wanted to do in life, travel; you know traveling as if someone is paying me to do it, like it’s my job, sometimes at my own expense and sometimes being sponsored by friends and relatives.
Well, now it has been a pretty long examination. This test of life is horrible I tell you. I don’t want to fight anymore, its tiring. I am completely sapped of all the energy I have. I feel the only two things that will save me now are either a catastrophe or a miracle. Oh Lord, how I wish something of that sort strikes me soon, but hey not below the belt this time!
Monday, May 12, 2008
My boring days
This is a boring write up, which I hope and believe will end some day, its called boring days because it has been quite boring simply put. Thankfully, I have been able to keep my sanity in the face of absolute chaos, do we call it chaos or shall I call it misfortune. Even though it hasn’t been entirely boring, but there have been times and moments when I wished it ended soon, but it just doesn’t seem to end. So instead of fretting over it, I thought about writing it out in the faint hope of negating the frustrating effect, so here it goes….
September of 2007.
Chennai has always been a pain, kind of those friends or bosses, without whom life would have been a lot easier, but like the things we can’t avoid, I had to make my umpteenth trip to Chennai for the only obvious reason Hyderabadi’s do, to attend an interview at the US Consulate (Vacation in Chennai, anyone ever heard of such a slogan). One of the important things to be done before the interview included getting a medical examination. They make us go through those embarrassing medical examinations, yeah all that included!! When I landed at the authorized hospital for my medical extravaganza, I had only one patient to fight out with, a girl from the north east. Waiting for my turn to be examined, I thought about who she might be and I also went to the extent of imagining the diseases she might be having, a severe case of myopic thinking and retarded thought process on my part. As she proceeded to get herself examined, I read all the regular instructions and posters we usually see in a hospital, and to add to my fear of communicable diseases, about AIDS, sexually transmitted diseases, and the very topical conjunctivitis. In a short while the girl came out beaming, signaling a healthy future and then it was my turn. I had my weight done, I was a little above normal; tongue out as well as other things, all done to confirm a jolly good me, and all the other reports were negative as well, thankfully I hadn’t contracted any embarrassing diseases, those of which people would be very happy to attribute to a bachelor like me or any bachelor for that matter.
With time on my hands, two days to be precise, I roamed around Chennai, in buses, autos, taking lifts, eating off the streets, high-end restaurants, and spending a major portion of my days in an air-conditioned mall or multiplex. I had never seen so many back to back movies as I did when in Chennai. I saw Sivaji, which was a major disappointment; I wasn’t expecting anything great anyway, but the AC was good. Also saw two Hindi movies.
May 2008.
It has been a while since my initial boring days write up and I thought I'd go back a little and comprehend to see what has changed. Unfortunately, there has been no change in my state or position, and what’s amazing is that I feel pretty okay with it right now. Should I feel bad about it or be proud that I have overcome an adverse situation without letting it effect me? I don’t know. But I have definitely become wiser, learning a lot from the incident. I have also become extremely patient and would definitely qualify for the job of the Dean of the University of Patience. Oh boy I can write a long thesis and get a PhD on patience in the mean while.
Ever since the debacle in Chennai, I have been staying at my aunt’s place and now I know where the cobwebs are in my room, the dead mosquito that I killed mercilessly with the newspaper still shouts out at me from the corner of the room with blood splattered all over, what a way to die, while you are sucking someone else’s blood. Anyway, it has been quite boring all along. I have been on the run, from one situation to another. In the meantime, in all the madness, mayhem, and the air of uncertainty, I have done some terrific traveling in the past year, the only bright spot, the only thing to cheer about. Some forced travel, some for the love of it and some as a compromise. But I have returned more determined, more enlightened, more focussed from all the travels. I notched up a few thousand kilometers, seen what a fantastic country I live in. Hence, Im still running, looks like uncertainy and me dont make strange bedfellows anymore. Bring them on, lets see what more life has in store for me!!
September of 2007.
Chennai has always been a pain, kind of those friends or bosses, without whom life would have been a lot easier, but like the things we can’t avoid, I had to make my umpteenth trip to Chennai for the only obvious reason Hyderabadi’s do, to attend an interview at the US Consulate (Vacation in Chennai, anyone ever heard of such a slogan). One of the important things to be done before the interview included getting a medical examination. They make us go through those embarrassing medical examinations, yeah all that included!! When I landed at the authorized hospital for my medical extravaganza, I had only one patient to fight out with, a girl from the north east. Waiting for my turn to be examined, I thought about who she might be and I also went to the extent of imagining the diseases she might be having, a severe case of myopic thinking and retarded thought process on my part. As she proceeded to get herself examined, I read all the regular instructions and posters we usually see in a hospital, and to add to my fear of communicable diseases, about AIDS, sexually transmitted diseases, and the very topical conjunctivitis. In a short while the girl came out beaming, signaling a healthy future and then it was my turn. I had my weight done, I was a little above normal; tongue out as well as other things, all done to confirm a jolly good me, and all the other reports were negative as well, thankfully I hadn’t contracted any embarrassing diseases, those of which people would be very happy to attribute to a bachelor like me or any bachelor for that matter.
With time on my hands, two days to be precise, I roamed around Chennai, in buses, autos, taking lifts, eating off the streets, high-end restaurants, and spending a major portion of my days in an air-conditioned mall or multiplex. I had never seen so many back to back movies as I did when in Chennai. I saw Sivaji, which was a major disappointment; I wasn’t expecting anything great anyway, but the AC was good. Also saw two Hindi movies.
May 2008.
It has been a while since my initial boring days write up and I thought I'd go back a little and comprehend to see what has changed. Unfortunately, there has been no change in my state or position, and what’s amazing is that I feel pretty okay with it right now. Should I feel bad about it or be proud that I have overcome an adverse situation without letting it effect me? I don’t know. But I have definitely become wiser, learning a lot from the incident. I have also become extremely patient and would definitely qualify for the job of the Dean of the University of Patience. Oh boy I can write a long thesis and get a PhD on patience in the mean while.
Ever since the debacle in Chennai, I have been staying at my aunt’s place and now I know where the cobwebs are in my room, the dead mosquito that I killed mercilessly with the newspaper still shouts out at me from the corner of the room with blood splattered all over, what a way to die, while you are sucking someone else’s blood. Anyway, it has been quite boring all along. I have been on the run, from one situation to another. In the meantime, in all the madness, mayhem, and the air of uncertainty, I have done some terrific traveling in the past year, the only bright spot, the only thing to cheer about. Some forced travel, some for the love of it and some as a compromise. But I have returned more determined, more enlightened, more focussed from all the travels. I notched up a few thousand kilometers, seen what a fantastic country I live in. Hence, Im still running, looks like uncertainy and me dont make strange bedfellows anymore. Bring them on, lets see what more life has in store for me!!
July 2008
Ah..well, I havent been writing enough for the past few weeks or say the past 2 months to be precise. Well its status quo, its still boring, but things have changed a little for the better, but different, much like Maggi tomato sauce, "Its different", whatever that means. I have been looking for opportunities to work, different from the health care sector Im currently into. I have some very exciting offers but they are all at intital stages, ya nothing confirmed.
One thing has remained constant all over the 'boring days' period, Mom. Not a single day has passed when I havent thought about her earnestly. She is a terrific cook, and hopefully I will get to gobble up her artisitcally prepared delicacies soon. See, Im tired of writing already, duh...this post is really turning out to be boring. Watch out another post..tc. AH
Saturday, May 3, 2008
Have you seen my motivation?
Have you seen my motivation?
It was last seen a few months ago cozying up beside me and now even the footprints of it have disappeared as well. It was a fairly constant companion, a delightful being sticking with me all my life; I felt it to be a part of me, like the mole I have on my right cheek. It had always helped me sort out the issues in times of duress, in traffic, distress, loneliness, cashlessness, and the endless disasters that had overtaken my listless being, and lately it was also prominently there when the lice-pickers at Mount Road handed me the red card and out I went from the field. Out I came from the field laughing at the absurdity of it all with Mr. Motivation being there right beside me.
It had actually been a while since the fella has been away and I have been missing him very badly lately, some say he most surely must be around me and must’ve hidden some place where I can’t see him. I guess so, so I hunted for him in the job I am doing right now, in the endless inspiring stories I hear daily in the news, on the net, in the movies, on the streets, in the eyes of the poor kid smiling at the crossroads, in Paulo Coelho, Rakhi Sawant, Paris Hilton, Hillary Clinton! Do they have my motivation; have they stolen it from me? Or did it just abandon me because I wasn’t taking good care of him? I thought he must’ve changed his costume and must be hovering around me in disguise, playing the eternal cat and mouse game.
A mad hunt ensued and I searched for him all over and the whole process left me a little tired frankly, may be I shouldn’t searching for him after all, let the fella come to me if he needs me, why in the world would I waste my time and effort in search of someone who is wanting to stay away from me, I ain’t the desperate kind. And so time flew as the days turned into weeks and weeks into months without the familiar companion being there with me. All along this period, it had been a miserable ride without that fella and though I didn’t notice that the reason for my wretched being was his absence, it had affected me like never before, but as they say life goes on and it did eventually go on.
Finally, the hunt was terminated, search lights shut off and thrown away, and the thought given a long vacation that I would find someone called Motivation. Eventually, one nondescript afternoon, I did feel him fleetingly at the mosque during the Friday prayers. It wasn’t trying to hide, it wasn’t even bothered with my presence there, it was just busy doin its stuff, you know the thing motivation usually does.
It took time off from its busy schedule that day to say hi and chatted up a little with me. It behaved as though nothing had happened, as though things were always the same as they were now. It then whispered to me that it hadn’t run away from me after all, it left because it felt a little unused, underrated, you know like the pop stars who feel neglected if they aren’t pampered a bit. It was jus that I hadn’t maintained an atmosphere conducive for it to inhabit along with me. Motivation also mentioned to me that he is just waiting for me to make it feel wanted and though it wouldn’t rush right back to live with me again, it would definitely keep visiting me once in a while provided I fully comprehend and understand what motivation really meant. It also did remind me of the days that we were together taking the negativity goons head-on, living life to the fullest with no care in the world, and the time when all that I needed from life was the chirping of the birds in my ear, the cool breeze, soothing like the sun on a flower at the first lights of dawn. Shaken a bit on being reminded bout my not-so-recent past, I did get a bit nostalgic and before I could hug it out of sheer happiness, it said it had to go; a lot of other people were looking for it earnestly. It gradually disappeared in the maze of white skull caps leaving me all high and dry.
Now, ever since that encounter, I have been trying hard to implement all the changes Mr. Motivation asked me to in my life and though I am sure it wouldn’t return back sooner, I was happy that I was making an effort to create an atmosphere conducive for my rock star to return.
It was last seen a few months ago cozying up beside me and now even the footprints of it have disappeared as well. It was a fairly constant companion, a delightful being sticking with me all my life; I felt it to be a part of me, like the mole I have on my right cheek. It had always helped me sort out the issues in times of duress, in traffic, distress, loneliness, cashlessness, and the endless disasters that had overtaken my listless being, and lately it was also prominently there when the lice-pickers at Mount Road handed me the red card and out I went from the field. Out I came from the field laughing at the absurdity of it all with Mr. Motivation being there right beside me.
It had actually been a while since the fella has been away and I have been missing him very badly lately, some say he most surely must be around me and must’ve hidden some place where I can’t see him. I guess so, so I hunted for him in the job I am doing right now, in the endless inspiring stories I hear daily in the news, on the net, in the movies, on the streets, in the eyes of the poor kid smiling at the crossroads, in Paulo Coelho, Rakhi Sawant, Paris Hilton, Hillary Clinton! Do they have my motivation; have they stolen it from me? Or did it just abandon me because I wasn’t taking good care of him? I thought he must’ve changed his costume and must be hovering around me in disguise, playing the eternal cat and mouse game.
A mad hunt ensued and I searched for him all over and the whole process left me a little tired frankly, may be I shouldn’t searching for him after all, let the fella come to me if he needs me, why in the world would I waste my time and effort in search of someone who is wanting to stay away from me, I ain’t the desperate kind. And so time flew as the days turned into weeks and weeks into months without the familiar companion being there with me. All along this period, it had been a miserable ride without that fella and though I didn’t notice that the reason for my wretched being was his absence, it had affected me like never before, but as they say life goes on and it did eventually go on.
Finally, the hunt was terminated, search lights shut off and thrown away, and the thought given a long vacation that I would find someone called Motivation. Eventually, one nondescript afternoon, I did feel him fleetingly at the mosque during the Friday prayers. It wasn’t trying to hide, it wasn’t even bothered with my presence there, it was just busy doin its stuff, you know the thing motivation usually does.
It took time off from its busy schedule that day to say hi and chatted up a little with me. It behaved as though nothing had happened, as though things were always the same as they were now. It then whispered to me that it hadn’t run away from me after all, it left because it felt a little unused, underrated, you know like the pop stars who feel neglected if they aren’t pampered a bit. It was jus that I hadn’t maintained an atmosphere conducive for it to inhabit along with me. Motivation also mentioned to me that he is just waiting for me to make it feel wanted and though it wouldn’t rush right back to live with me again, it would definitely keep visiting me once in a while provided I fully comprehend and understand what motivation really meant. It also did remind me of the days that we were together taking the negativity goons head-on, living life to the fullest with no care in the world, and the time when all that I needed from life was the chirping of the birds in my ear, the cool breeze, soothing like the sun on a flower at the first lights of dawn. Shaken a bit on being reminded bout my not-so-recent past, I did get a bit nostalgic and before I could hug it out of sheer happiness, it said it had to go; a lot of other people were looking for it earnestly. It gradually disappeared in the maze of white skull caps leaving me all high and dry.
Now, ever since that encounter, I have been trying hard to implement all the changes Mr. Motivation asked me to in my life and though I am sure it wouldn’t return back sooner, I was happy that I was making an effort to create an atmosphere conducive for my rock star to return.
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
I feel I have been in pursuit of happiness since time immemorial. Although happiness means different things to different people, and also the way people derive happiness from a situation, a possession or a person. Happiness is a state of mind and I have always been tested by fate for resilience (which I never had), patience (currently I am the Dean of the University of patience), and determination (you need to have a goal to be determined, I never had a goal). Never having a goal seemed cool to me, it might be officially cool, but I never had one. Having a goal entailed planning, pressure, creating own deadlines and reaching them, which I thought was not the way to live life. Hence, I never had a goal in life, assuming that such a goal would seem panicky, farsighted, overbearing on my personality, which I loved to portray as a happy go lucky one. It was quite late in life that I realized that every Tom, Dick, and Harry had a goal, however incompetent, happy or impulsive he/she was.
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