My boring days

This is a boring write up, which I hope and believe will end some day, its called boring days because it has been quite boring simply put. Thankfully, I have been able to keep my sanity in the face of absolute chaos, do we call it chaos or shall I call it misfortune. Even though it hasn’t been entirely boring, but there have been times and moments when I wished it ended soon, but it just doesn’t seem to end. So instead of fretting over it, I thought about writing it out in the faint hope of negating the frustrating effect, so here it goes….

September of 2007.

Chennai has always been a pain, kind of those friends or bosses, without whom life would have been a lot easier, but like the things we can’t avoid, I had to make my umpteenth trip to Chennai for the only obvious reason Hyderabadi’s do, to attend an interview at the US Consulate (Vacation in Chennai, anyone ever heard of such a slogan). One of the important things to be done before the interview included getting a medical examination. They make us go through those embarrassing medical examinations, yeah all that included!! When I landed at the authorized hospital for my medical extravaganza, I had only one patient to fight out with, a girl from the north east. Waiting for my turn to be examined, I thought about who she might be and I also went to the extent of imagining the diseases she might be having, a severe case of myopic thinking and retarded thought process on my part. As she proceeded to get herself examined, I read all the regular instructions and posters we usually see in a hospital, and to add to my fear of communicable diseases, about AIDS, sexually transmitted diseases, and the very topical conjunctivitis. In a short while the girl came out beaming, signaling a healthy future and then it was my turn. I had my weight done, I was a little above normal; tongue out as well as other things, all done to confirm a jolly good me, and all the other reports were negative as well, thankfully I hadn’t contracted any embarrassing diseases, those of which people would be very happy to attribute to a bachelor like me or any bachelor for that matter.

With time on my hands, two days to be precise, I roamed around Chennai, in buses, autos, taking lifts, eating off the streets, high-end restaurants, and spending a major portion of my days in an air-conditioned mall or multiplex. I had never seen so many back to back movies as I did when in Chennai. I saw Sivaji, which was a major disappointment; I wasn’t expecting anything great anyway, but the AC was good. Also saw two Hindi movies.

May 2008.

It has been a while since my initial boring days write up and I thought I'd go back a little and comprehend to see what has changed. Unfortunately, there has been no change in my state or position, and what’s amazing is that I feel pretty okay with it right now. Should I feel bad about it or be proud that I have overcome an adverse situation without letting it effect me? I don’t know. But I have definitely become wiser, learning a lot from the incident. I have also become extremely patient and would definitely qualify for the job of the Dean of the University of Patience. Oh boy I can write a long thesis and get a PhD on patience in the mean while.

Ever since the debacle in Chennai, I have been staying at my aunt’s place and now I know where the cobwebs are in my room, the dead mosquito that I killed mercilessly with the newspaper still shouts out at me from the corner of the room with blood splattered all over, what a way to die, while you are sucking someone else’s blood. Anyway, it has been quite boring all along. I have been on the run, from one situation to another. In the meantime, in all the madness, mayhem, and the air of uncertainty, I have done some terrific traveling in the past year, the only bright spot, the only thing to cheer about. Some forced travel, some for the love of it and some as a compromise. But I have returned more determined, more enlightened, more focussed from all the travels. I notched up a few thousand kilometers, seen what a fantastic country I live in. Hence, Im still running, looks like uncertainy and me dont make strange bedfellows anymore. Bring them on, lets see what more life has in store for me!!

July 2008

Ah..well, I havent been writing enough for the past few weeks or say the past 2 months to be precise. Well its status quo, its still boring, but things have changed a little for the better, but different, much like Maggi tomato sauce, "Its different", whatever that means. I have been looking for opportunities to work, different from the health care sector Im currently into. I have some very exciting offers but they are all at intital stages, ya nothing confirmed.

One thing has remained constant all over the 'boring days' period, Mom. Not a single day has passed when I havent thought about her earnestly. She is a terrific cook, and hopefully I will get to gobble up her artisitcally prepared delicacies soon. See, Im tired of writing already, duh...this post is really turning out to be boring. Watch out another post..tc. AH

Have you seen my motivation?

Have you seen my motivation?

It was last seen a few months ago cozying up beside me and now even the footprints of it have disappeared as well. It was a fairly constant companion, a delightful being sticking with me all my life; I felt it to be a part of me, like the mole I have on my right cheek. It had always helped me sort out the issues in times of duress, in traffic, distress, loneliness, cashlessness, and the endless disasters that had overtaken my listless being, and lately it was also prominently there when the lice-pickers at Mount Road handed me the red card and out I went from the field. Out I came from the field laughing at the absurdity of it all with Mr. Motivation being there right beside me.

It had actually been a while since the fella has been away and I have been missing him very badly lately, some say he most surely must be around me and must’ve hidden some place where I can’t see him. I guess so, so I hunted for him in the job I am doing right now, in the endless inspiring stories I hear daily in the news, on the net, in the movies, on the streets, in the eyes of the poor kid smiling at the crossroads, in Paulo Coelho, Rakhi Sawant, Paris Hilton, Hillary Clinton! Do they have my motivation; have they stolen it from me? Or did it just abandon me because I wasn’t taking good care of him? I thought he must’ve changed his costume and must be hovering around me in disguise, playing the eternal cat and mouse game.

A mad hunt ensued and I searched for him all over and the whole process left me a little tired frankly, may be I shouldn’t searching for him after all, let the fella come to me if he needs me, why in the world would I waste my time and effort in search of someone who is wanting to stay away from me, I ain’t the desperate kind. And so time flew as the days turned into weeks and weeks into months without the familiar companion being there with me. All along this period, it had been a miserable ride without that fella and though I didn’t notice that the reason for my wretched being was his absence, it had affected me like never before, but as they say life goes on and it did eventually go on.

Finally, the hunt was terminated, search lights shut off and thrown away, and the thought given a long vacation that I would find someone called Motivation. Eventually, one nondescript afternoon, I did feel him fleetingly at the mosque during the Friday prayers. It wasn’t trying to hide, it wasn’t even bothered with my presence there, it was just busy doin its stuff, you know the thing motivation usually does.

It took time off from its busy schedule that day to say hi and chatted up a little with me. It behaved as though nothing had happened, as though things were always the same as they were now. It then whispered to me that it hadn’t run away from me after all, it left because it felt a little unused, underrated, you know like the pop stars who feel neglected if they aren’t pampered a bit. It was jus that I hadn’t maintained an atmosphere conducive for it to inhabit along with me. Motivation also mentioned to me that he is just waiting for me to make it feel wanted and though it wouldn’t rush right back to live with me again, it would definitely keep visiting me once in a while provided I fully comprehend and understand what motivation really meant. It also did remind me of the days that we were together taking the negativity goons head-on, living life to the fullest with no care in the world, and the time when all that I needed from life was the chirping of the birds in my ear, the cool breeze, soothing like the sun on a flower at the first lights of dawn. Shaken a bit on being reminded bout my not-so-recent past, I did get a bit nostalgic and before I could hug it out of sheer happiness, it said it had to go; a lot of other people were looking for it earnestly. It gradually disappeared in the maze of white skull caps leaving me all high and dry.

Now, ever since that encounter, I have been trying hard to implement all the changes Mr. Motivation asked me to in my life and though I am sure it wouldn’t return back sooner, I was happy that I was making an effort to create an atmosphere conducive for my rock star to return.