Perpetually tested

Have you ever been perpetually tested, like always, never a moment of relaxation, never a time where you get up in the morning and think like well its really a new day, a new beginning. Like you have always been examined, someone testing your skill, well skill is a milder word here, maybe a test of character, for patience, for spirit, for attitude, being continuously thrown in situations where your reaction is monitored keenly and very closely!

You are always told to hang in there; life is always about this they say, about being tested, about facing good and bad situations with equal ease and élan. The last time I was hit, I thought okay now this ends this scrutiny and misery, but hey they say the test isn’t over yet, although the result is just round the corner, it ain’t over till you are dead meat. Also something very frightening, that the result isn’t all that important in this test here, what’s more important is how you keep your cool, how you face the continuous test of patience, how you come out of this heavenly mess created just to see how you fucking react when someone kicks you sometimes, and yeah have a smile all the while. Well getting kicked below the belt is not something I like. Even being kicked once isn’t okay, but I’ll manage, I’ll writhe in pain, roll around, and bear it with a loud and long moan, but what about getting kicked there every week, every few months! How do you handle that? Don’t you wanna just leave the fight; throw your hands up defeated, and give it all up.

Haha, you fucking moron, you can’t get out of this one just by writing this stupid blog. It only ends when you are completely scarred or only if you are dead. I mean I don’t have balls of steel; I ain’t Superman or Hulk, the more topical! I ain’t an angel mate; I cry, I laugh, and it gives me a lot of pain when someone hits me. I’m just a human being trying to manage the punches being thrown at me at a rapid pace and trying to be sane at the same time, with that stupid smile on my face always. Don’t I have anything else to do in life other than handle punches and kicks being thrown at me all the time, everyday, every morning and evening as well.

The most amazing part is I try and have so much fun while I am at this supposedly huge test that I have undertaken to get to the next stage in life. I have been doing what I always wanted to do in life, travel; you know traveling as if someone is paying me to do it, like it’s my job, sometimes at my own expense and sometimes being sponsored by friends and relatives.

Well, now it has been a pretty long examination. This test of life is horrible I tell you. I don’t want to fight anymore, its tiring. I am completely sapped of all the energy I have. I feel the only two things that will save me now are either a catastrophe or a miracle. Oh Lord, how I wish something of that sort strikes me soon, but hey not below the belt this time!